Two things I do a lot of are chatting and farting. …hence the name, Verbal FlatulenCee.
I need to get one thing straight. Verbal FlatulenCee is my handle but I don’t necessarily chat fart. The chatting and the farting are actually 2 separate entities…not conjoined in any way, necessarily, but, being the fair lady that I am, I’ll allow you, my dedicated readers, to judge for yourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I haven’t verbally flatulated before, but in such crucial times I do understand that I need to stay serious and keep focused. (Or was it get serious and be focused. Hmmm. I never could quite get that right.)
Well I say down with seriousness! This life is Much too brief to spend it screwing up my face. On top of that, they say it takes less muscles to fart than it does to try and be serious. …so why tense up when you can relax yourself!
But the truth is that all my life I’ve been told by some select members of my family that I “chat pure fart”. I am not sure I truly agree with this statement…I mean to think about that statement in it’s context, we normally chat with our mouths and fart way from the opposite end of our bodies, keeping the smell far away from our noses and mouths while chatting. Now, with that in mind, can you imagine the devastated look on the face of a person facing someone that’s farting from their mouth, forming sounds of words with each fart? And these are not just regular, ordinary run-of-the-mill farts we’re talking about here. We’re dealing with “Pure” farts. …as opposed to? …impure farts, of course. Now think carefully…an “impure fart” would most likely smell not-so-bad since “impure” and “fart” are 2 negatives and when multiplied the result is positive…making the scent more of an “eau de toilette” less concentrated scent. But pure farts are not just lightly scented “breezy” farts. These are pure, concentrated, full aroma…the “eau de cologne” of all farts!
Dear lord now there’s an even scarier thought…fart cologne. No don’t scoff, I recall a few decades ago hearing about a new cologne made from body odour. No Let’s not give them any ideas. What would they even call it? Eau du flatulence? Hmmm.
Well, there you have it folks. It’s common knowledge that we must all be inspired by something in this life and my everlasting farts have been blowing me away with inspiration lately (pun intended) and I feel a strong scents of desire to share this with you. …my beautiful world full of beautiful people.
I pray you all find peace and love and whenever you fart, think of me, Verbal FlatulenCee… and laugh your asses off!!!
❤ WithLoveFromCee ❤